October is the month which puts a spotlight on Domestic Violence Prevention. For the past 40 years, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has been highlighting the dangers of domestic violence and its effects on survivors.
Some sobering statistics:
—— 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men per minute experience some sort of intimate partner violence. That equates to 10 million people per year.
—— 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. 20% of American women have been raped.
—— An abuser’s access to firearms increases the risk of femicide by an intimate partner by 400%.
—— Domestic Violence makes up 15% of violent crimes in the United States.
Domestic Violence includes verbal, emotional and financial abuse in addition to physical and sexual violence. Abusers seek to control all aspects of their victims‘ lives, including mundane things like friendships, contacts with relatives, phone use, computer use, clothing choices, how housework is done, when the victim can go out, where the victim can work. Basically every aspect of the victim’s life is controlled by the abuser. Abusers can exhibit jealousy, or threaten suicide as a way to control their victims . They can also threaten harm to children and pets. The idea is to isolate the victim from the outside world so that the abuse won’t be discovered.
Abusers are very often the most pleasant people when in public. The great employee, faithful church-goer or elder, life of the party, upstanding citizen. People that you would not think could do such terrible things. That is often why a woman is not believed when she comes forward.
Survivors often stay in these relationships for economic reasons, or out of fear that their children or other loved ones will be harmed. If the abusing partner has control of the money, the survivor may be dependent upon the abuser. If the survivor is a woman, she may have a spotty work record because she is a stay at home mom. Or, perhaps, her skills are lacking because of interrupted education. Whatever the reason, each survivor has to gage for herself what comfort level she has with leaving.
Since the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was passed in 1994, this has changed. National domestic Violence hotlines take upwards of 20,000 calls per day. DV Crisis Centers and shelters have more willing partners in local police forces to gather evidence, process and enforce protection from abuse orders, and help victim/survivors. VAWA programs have enabled survivors to leave their abusers, find safe places to live, find education and job opportunities, establish credit and begin to live safer lives free of the abuse.
As of October 4, 2019, the United States Senate has not passed H.R. 1585, which is the reauthorization of VAWA for 2019. Please, contact your senators and urge them to vote to approve this bill. Without it, survivors will not get the assistance they need. Contact Senator McConnell and tell him to move this bill to the floor for a vote.
If you need help, go to NCADV.org. Or find a local victim center in your area. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233 for information on how to get help. Your life may depend on it.
Anne Keller